Don't Kick Yourself Too Hard

  Don’t Kick Yourself Too Hard

 I just came back from a day of really stunning presentations.

For me, the occasion was almost too good to be true: a fantastic location, truly talented participants, and exciting and original topics. And best of all, the only thing I had to do was watch and enjoy. 

But as the designated start time approached, I suddenly found myself getting very nervous. And as the lights dimmed and the first speakers took to the stage, my level of anxiety continued to rise. I really wanted everyone to do a fantastic job; but what if something went wrong?

 My fears proved to be unfounded: team after team - and speaker after speaker - performed magnificently. The videos were wonderful and engaging. My critical eye rejoiced at seeing strong introductions, good eye contact and solid gestures. And the tech gang upstairs kept everything from the microphone levels to the challenging video uploads running as smooth as could be. Even difficult questions were answered calmly, showing obvious preparation. In fact, not a single thing went wrong, and that pretty much never happens.

But afterwards I found a few of the presenters doing one of the classics: being far too negatively critical of their own performance. They were kicking themselves, and a little too hard.

This happens all the time. But on this day it seemed simply unjust. Everyone had done a terrific job. Everyone had excelled themselves.

A Presenting Fundamental:

 A wonderful quote by Dale Carnegie hits the nail on the head:

          ''There are always three speeches for the one you                   actually gave: the one you practiced, the one you                 gave, and the one you wish you gave.'' 

 Let's look at these three, in relation to the presentations I saw today.

1. The one you practiced.

One of the things that really pleased me the most about today was to see the amount of practice that everyone had put in. People worked long and hard to make body language changes, to improve eye contact and to control their stage fright. They memorized large amounts of text and worked and reworked the wording of the dialogue. And these efforts paid off. The improvements were huge. This isn't always the case: I go on and on about the importance of practice, but a lot of people just don't - or won' t - do it.

But practice, as important as it is, is no substitute for the real thing. And that brings us to the second part of the quote.

2, The one you gave.

As I said already, every team did a great job. But afterwards some were not so pleased with themselves. The kicking had started. They had instantly moved to the third point of the quote, without really appreciating the second part.  But 'the one you gave' is the real teacher. Doing it live is the path to great presenting. So let's move on to point three:

3. The one you wish you gave.

One of the reasons I love this quote is because I do this all the time. On the drive home, or in bed at night, I will go over my performance and think of things I could have said, or better lines will suggest themselves. I will cringe at mistakes I made and think about how I can improve next time. But in the end I will be happy. Happy because I know what to work on, and because I also know that I still did a good job. And happy because I know a few presentation  skills.

A Few Presentation Skills to Learn and Practice:

1. If you make a mistake, don't react or draw attention to it. The chances are that no one will notice. 

2. Continue with confidence, as if nothing unusual has happened. Even if they do notice, if you continue with confidence they will soon forget all about it. Mistakes during presentations are normal, and happen to everybody. 

3. The ability to recover smoothly after a mistake is actually the sign of an experienced presenter. Moving on gracefully (even with all that adrenaline stage-fright panic now coursing through your veins) is a truly solid skill. It shows you are well prepared and have practiced. In my books, it's a great accomplishment, and a real 'pro' skill.

4. Treat mistakes as learning opportunities. As unpleasant as they are, mistakes motivate you to be better. The next time up you won't make the same mistake. But you'll probably make another one, and so the learning cycle spins around.

5. Even if it all went as planned, doing anything live will always suggest things to you that no amount of practice can provide. Live is the ultimate test, and you can never really know how a technique, phrase, joke or gesture will work until you try it for real.  So after going live you will always find things to change, develop, or eliminate for next time.

6. And finally, learn to laugh at your mistakes. It's a great thing to be able to do, and then the mistakes can become funny party stories.  

There were some very small bumps in some of today's presentations, but the recoveries were perfect. The presenters moved on, and finished strong.  For me, this was wonderful to watch. But afterwards some looked disappointed with themselves, when instead they should have been pleased.

Which brings me to two additional quotes about being self-critical:
''The little voice in the back of your head will always find something wrong with you. But nobody else can hear that voice.''
(unknown)
And:
''The only person who listens to every word of your speech is you.''
(unknown)

Well, I'm back home and I still have a huge goofy smile on my face. All of the pitches were a success. I'm really very happy. And I hope that, after they stop kicking themselves, all of today's teams will be happy too. They most certainly deserve to be.

 

See you next time, and happy trails.

Rob

Presenting:Rob